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Old 09-06-2017, 10:55 AM
Kwak's Avatar
Kwak Kwak is offline
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Off the deep end
Posts: 10,530

Originally Posted by Riggs View Post
Completely agree. I think in our culture you'd be hard pressed to find someone who described us as stay-at-home dads as being "successful." But that's only because we have a dumb ass definition of successful. You've done everything you possibly can to help a kid who's struggling enormously Kwak, without any compensation, reward, or sometimes even support from a spouse. That in my mind would be way more successful than say a Ray Kroc (just watched the movie The Founder) who doesn't give a crap about anything but money and power.

And as has been talked about in this thread before, happiness is way better gauge of success than the norm. Or maybe self satisfaction or ?? I'm super proud of my both my son's accomplishments so far, and we need people like that. We also need parents and electricians and grocery baggers. Or maybe success is just doing the best you can given your circumstances and the brain and body you're dealt. Maybe Tomcat's definition of success is just being alive, would be if I were in his shoes.
If that's the case then I'm not successful. My dream is for Justin to develop skills where he can communicate with others in some fashion so that he's not frustrated and no longer feelss compelled to lash out like he's been.

Here's an illustration of my point. There are people with disabilities who are employed as buspeople at the local grocery store. One is a kid who went to school with my wife's cousin. He's mentally impaired but is a happy and friendly person who always wants to strike up a conversation. My wife's young cousin who is the same age was on the golf team was instrumental in securing their high school a championship and he went on to go to college and earn a degree but has had to have his parents still cater to him as if he were a child cooking his meals, giving him the keys to their cars to use and set him up with internships and menial accounting jobs in the hope that he becomes a CPA. So far, he's taken the test twice and failed but my wife's uncle maintains that he's "smart enough" (without being criticism in any way) and continues to pay his way into golf competitions. In talking with my wife's uncle, he coneys that the boy has admitted to feeling frustrated at times. My FIL reports that the boy has an entitlement mentality and is being coddled - though I have to consider the source since FIL is outspokenly judgmental of his younger brother's parenting style. I look at these two kids and I wonder, which would be considered "successful" and the other "retarded?" The only difference i see is in how society determines their potential.

Personally, if either of my son's were happy doing service work and found the confidence within themselves later on to pursue their own dreams then I could die happy. I could care less what society thinks.
Married to Kelly, 6/19/1999
SAHD since August, 2004
Father to Justin, 2/27/2004
Father to Joseph, 3/11/2007
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Old 10-28-2017, 10:44 PM
Mark B.'s Avatar
Mark B. Mark B. is offline
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Central Connecticant
Posts: 17,372

Sitting here in the Galaria mall in Cambridge seeing a lot of kids with their parents from MIT and wondering if Riggs just walked by me. Girls went clothes shopping and I hung at the world of Beer and watched College Football!! Woo hoo. Enjoy the traffic Riggs, wherever you are!
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Last edited by Mark B.; 10-28-2017 at 10:48 PM.
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Old 11-01-2017, 03:34 PM
Riggs's Avatar
Riggs Riggs is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Montana
Posts: 4,666

Too bad we didn't connect up Mark, I looked on here before I left to see if you'd be there. I wasn't at the mall, and our kid or us are sorta anti wearing all the MIT stuff you see on everybody there, as it seems to lack humility a bit. So we would've been hard to pick out. Didn't have to worry about traffic, we took the T, rode Hubway bikes and walked. But yeah, it'd be a pain to drive in that place, I feel for you.

If you want to see something cool next Halloween, check out the pumpkin drop at MIT. They freeze 50 - 100 pumpkins in liquid nitrogen and drop them off a 28 story building. Fun to watch!

Our son seems to be doing great, has new friends, and is so far cutting the mustard there at the pace they describe as "drinking from a firehose." I LOVED looking around that place, labs everywhere including blacksmiths and endless builder spaces. Son gave us some tours of places we wouldn't have been able to go, I was in awe. Got to hold this cutting edge computer chip that held the all the memory, processor and sensors together, no wires, just carbon nanotubes that are 1/1000000 of a millimeter in diameter. Unreal place.

Notice the leaking fluid under this door with all the warnings, haha!

Different kind of vending machine there...

2 boys, ages 19 & 16. SAHD from the beginning
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