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  #1  
Old 08-20-2013, 01:02 PM
stayathomedaddad stayathomedaddad is offline
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Last edited by stayathomedaddad; 11-05-2013 at 02:53 PM. Reason: Legal
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:36 PM
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Answer:

Yes, one of the few fights we've had started that way.

Ask her to take a couple days off during the week while you leave for the day. Come back and ask the same thing, see how it goes.

Also, I hear every couple's situation is different, but when we married we got a joint account and there was no longer "my money, your money", it all goes into a pool to be spent jointly.

Good luck and welcome to the site!
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:42 PM
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tt3 is right on ..We had a fight about this a few years back and thats when we only had 2 kids ...
Ask if she would like to try it for a couple days .
Plus the money thing is kinda surprising to me ,,should be one home ,one account ..
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tt3 View Post
Answer:

Yes, one of the few fights we've had started that way.

Ask her to take a couple days off during the week while you leave for the day. Come back and ask the same thing, see how it goes.

Also, I hear every couple's situation is different, but when we married we got a joint account and there was no longer "my money, your money", it all goes into a pool to be spent jointly.

Good luck and welcome to the site!
+1

I get the "room mate" finances with a second relationship, but with one parent staying home, if the roles were reversed, that's not a real feasible option.

I'll give you high praise on handling three boys and a set of twins. Mine are coming-up on 11 months and keep me pretty well pinned-down all day. Do you at least get Saturday off? I tend to work on the weekend and my wife takes care of the kids. That gives her a taste of my week so I can get a little understanding if dinner is not planned in the evening.
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Old 08-20-2013, 01:48 PM
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Oh yeah, welcome to the site.
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Old 08-20-2013, 02:57 PM
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5 under 5? Sweet merciful crap.


I think most of us have had to deal with this at one time or another.

We do the dual account as well, makes it easier for us in budgeting. Mine gets topped off at the start of the month, everything else is used to pay bills, have fun etc. Works for us.
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Old 08-20-2013, 03:06 PM
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Sounds normal. You likely are a bit lazy with doing that stuff. Let's face it. It sucks and it's not fun.

We have 1 account. It's my money as much as its hers. To me it's the only way when you are married. You aren't casually dating. I guess with past marriages and kid responsibilities outside the home, I can see where this comes into play and changes things perhaps. Still, I'd go 1 andwork things out.
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Old 08-20-2013, 03:21 PM
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Welcome SAHDD! 5 under 5!! Good grief. That is a lot of work. We have always had 1 account since we were married. No issues. My wife actually hates it when I say since I have been home full time "It's your money".
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Old 08-20-2013, 03:49 PM
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Quote:
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My wife actually hates it when I say since I have been home full time "It's your money".
Same here. "Get out there and bring me bacon!"
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Old 08-20-2013, 03:51 PM
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Yeah, I get that sometimes too. Joint account and all. We only have two kids but one's low to middle functioning autistic, not quite potty trained and about to hit puberty.

It's not fair in my case nor is it in yours. Last I checked, marriage was a partnership and not "I bring home the bacon and you fry it up in a pan." Last I checked that BS went out the window in the 1960s-1970s only things were reversed. It's hard to stick up for yourself with a pushy person such as that though, isn't it? Just watch too: kids soak up EVERYTHING they see and use any opportunity to get what they can once they're old enough to understand. Nip it in the bud by sticking up for yourself firmly and calmly and when the kids get older use a token economy system to have them earn their favorite things. I'm currently undergoing such a battle with my 6yo son.

TT3 put it best: let her do it for a few days on her own and then see how she sounds afterwards. If she still says that you should get a job and put the kids in childcare have the numbers ready that illustrate how much that would cost.

In the meantime, don't let it get you down and don't feel guilty about taking some time for yourself - ESPECIALLY on a Saturday. FWIW I think you're doing a fine job. Potty training doesn't always go easily - especially with multiples.
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