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Old 09-02-2016, 09:29 PM
Mark B.'s Avatar
Mark B. Mark B. is offline
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Originally Posted by Kwak View Post
That's good to hear. My son has taught me a lot about plumbing and drywall. Too much. OTOH I have apparently forgotten a LOT about how to cook.

As for the woodworking, that comes when they go through the terrible twos ... and fours ... and sevens .... and nines ... and twelves.
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Old 09-03-2016, 02:15 PM
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feedthemachine feedthemachine is offline
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Hey wacka ,Honestly there is never a time where you are not needed all day ..
Depending on if any more children are in your future or not..

I'm going on 11 years now ,,theres always a time when a parent is needed..Kid is home sick,gets sick at school,doctor appointments,all the practices and running around after school ect.....

The list goes on(like everyone said) ,and i have always said we are very fortunate to be able to do what we do ,as frustrating as it is and will get!
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Old 09-06-2016, 05:35 PM
WackaWacka WackaWacka is offline
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Thanks. Yeah I am understanding that more as I talk to people. Well, at the least maybe I will save some money on repairs and backyard picnic tables and sheds. Even if it's just a hobby I would love to learn more about woodworking and how the house works. Maybe even it's for me.
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Old 09-06-2016, 07:22 PM
GBDad GBDad is offline
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I've given more thought to this recently as well, and I'm not too far ahead of you...Have a 4 and a 1 year old. I would consider a slow transition between being a full time at home parent and heading back to work full time.

I recently took on a part time job, which I love. I know my wife has had a hard time adjusting to the fact that it has to be just her and the kids for several hours, 2-3 times a week. (And I only work 10-15 hours a week) She's never had to do that. For lack of better phrasing, she's always taken for granted that I'm always there - she's always "had help" with the kids. Can't imagine what would happen if I were to go from always being home, to the next day teaching full time as I did before I stayed home and was gone 50+ hours a week. It's been rough enough on her that I'm gone 10-15 hours a week.

I always pictured myself going back to work full time when the kids are both in school. Now I'm not so sure. I might continue working part time, but more hours, when they're at least in their early years of school, so that I can get them off to school and be there to pick them up when school is over. Maybe once they're in those tween years where they can get themselves home from school (which is only a block and a half away) and manage for an hour or two until I get home, I'll go back to work full time. But I guess I feel I have time to figure that out. Of course when I've been out 15 years (which it will be by the time my son is able to be home alone) maybe schools/employers will tell me to "go pound sand, old man," which could happen. Guess I'm not going to stress about it at this point.

And the others are right. If you consider the cost savings of not sending, in my case, 2 kids to day care - then before and after school care, you most certainly are contributing financially. Given the cost savings, and earnings from working part time, my take home is about the same as if I stayed teaching full time. (Actually only had 1 year with no income at all because the 1st 3 years I stayed home I continued to teach online part time). But I was able that whole time to stay home full time with my kids. And the contribution of a kid having a PARENT around at all can't put a dollar amount on that.
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Old 09-07-2016, 03:05 AM
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jeffus jeffus is offline
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Interesting looking back on the Exit Strategy thread. All I can say is that I'm very glad I got back into my chosen profession and seem to have my career back on track. It came in handy....

Looking at the numbers - if you start working at say, 20, and retire at 72, that's 52 years of saving toward retirement, achieving financial goals, improving quality of life, paying for medical benefits, saving for college, etc.

Taking 5 years off and tending to children until they start kindergarten is worthwhile and a noble endeavor. As with anything, you can find a way of justifying it and feeling good about it - saved on daycare, did home repairs, bonded with the kids, etc. Having done it both ways - home with one kid and daycare for the second kid, it was nice while it lasted.

But once they start school, the few extra hours they might spend in aftercare before you return home from work are no big deal. There are plenty of opportunities to spend time with them at night and weekends.

5 years (from birth to kindergarten) is 9.6% of your income earning years. Sorry, I did math there. What are you going to do with the other 90.4% of your financially productive years? That mileage may vary if you have more than one kid but generally they aren't too far apart age-wise to skew that 9.6% much higher.

I'm just playing with the numbers here. I loved staying home with the kids and continue to love spending time with the kids. If you can do it and not suffer financially, then more power to you! Enjoy it while you can.

But, in the end, the child's need for care is temporary. The family's needs are more enduring. And then there's the whole personal and professional growth thing.
Thing 1 (a.k.a. Audrey) - 20 years old, Thing 2 (a.k.a. Rachel) - 12 years old
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Old 09-12-2016, 12:10 AM
757dad 757dad is offline
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So I was home for 8 years and had a part time job for part of the time. Basically I coached high school football to stay around the education field and because it was something I really enjoyed doing. It basically paid for the babysitter we got for the girls when I wasn't home. BUT I was only gone from lets say 2-6 and that was just in the fall. I helped out with stuff in the spring but only a few days a week and until 4:30. Both my girls were in elementary school last year to I went back and taught part time, which was every other day from 10-2:30, which still allowed me to do all the SAHD things I had done in the past. Wife decided to go out on her own and while still making really good money we were paying out of pocket for insurance so I decided to look for a full time teaching position this year. Wife actually took a really good job offer this week that has benefits.
A few weeks into being back to work and gone from 7:30-4:30 every day and I am already thinking about how I need to find something that is more part time. Trying to juggle appointments and activities with the wifes schedule and travel is going to make for an interesting year. Honestly I feel like it was just expected that I go back to work and I put a lot of that pressure on myself too. Financially its a plus but no where near a necessity and I really think that if we can I am going to find a way to be home more next year.
Sorry for the long response but basically 1 week into being back to work full time I'm wishing I hadn't done it.
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Old 09-12-2016, 01:01 PM
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gduck gduck is offline
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My wife and I have actually been talking a bit about it (partly inspired by these posts). It certainly would help for me to start bringing in some money, but we can get by without it - it would just be nice to get ahead for a change. But at the same time there's a list of things we've wanted to do around the house (a good deal of which aren't overly hard, I'd just have to do a little research and reach out to a couple people for some tips and tricks), but we can never get to because we're always juggling one kid or another. Both kids in school would give me the time to do a lot of it, and that would end up saving us some money.

It also boils down to at this point I'm not sure what I'd even do for extra cash - I've been so long out of the IT field there's zero chance I'd be able to get back in to it, especially with the outsourcing rush. And my second career, well there aren't many opportunities for that in my area. Just a lot to think about, but I've still got a year or so before our youngest goes to pre-K and starts to give me a little more available time.

I think it just helps to talk with my wife and know what both our expectations and feelings are so that when the time comes it doesn't explode because one person was thinking one thing and the other thought something else and now it becomes a point of contention.
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Old 09-12-2016, 07:15 PM
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Captain Tuttle Captain Tuttle is offline
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I went back to work after 9 years at home, was really tough for me finding a job. I wanted to change careers but it was just too much of a leap, that gap in my resume, my age etc made it really hard. So I went back doing what I was before, turns out it was a good move but I got lucky, got in front of the right people at the right time.

If I had to do it over again I would have gotten a part time job or done some serious volunteering or something. Employers want to see that you've been doing something "productive" (raising kids is productive). I think it was Jeffus who stayed active in his field, doing little side projects here and there. It's tougher for man too, you're not expected to stay home, it's bullshit but there it is.

This is all my experience, you might have great connections or a really valuable skill that's easy to stay current with. It took me at least two years of hard looking to finally find a job and it happened really fast; went to a job fair on Saturday, had an interview Monday and started Tuesday. My point is you have to be flexible enough to move when there's an opportunity.

Good luck
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Old 09-13-2016, 11:08 AM
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TwoCubs TwoCubs is offline
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I'm glad that I'm not the only one. My wife and I have been discussing me finding some part-time work. We've been struggling ever since the move a couple years ago, and me getting a job would bring in more in the short term than her getting a raise. Unfortunately, I'm not seeing something all that much in the way of flexibility that doesn't have me working at night or all weekend.

My last job was very specialized, did not leave me with certifications or "letters" after my name, and was a source of stress that my wife didn't like, so that's not an option. Besides, most of my job was "problem solving" people and equipment. That's not exactly a search term or job description to use in a resume. So, my options, for the hours that I would have available, seem to be Lowe's and Walmart. I'm not beneath any of it, and the extra $400-500 a month would make a big difference in our budget.

So, we'll see. Their insurance can't be worse than what my wife's company offers.
Just give me something rational... something that is at least solvable in my lifetime... every once in a while... maybe?
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Old 09-13-2016, 02:16 PM
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Riggs Riggs is offline
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Good to have jeffus and Capt.'s thoughts on here from the working world. I agree with jeffus, after school programs are fine and probably are even beneficial. As for the summer, we didn't have good options for camps around here and I just wasn't willing to leave them here all day.

And agreed, doing this at home thing more than a couple of years full time starts making you less and less marketable. I applied for a part time, low pay, assistant job with the school district here, with references from top administrators and tons of volunteer work, and didn't get it. I realized afterwards that the college graduation year I listed on my resume was before most of my interviewers were born. Fair or not, I remember how old I thought somebody my age was when I was younger. I'm not too marketable.

I always thought as back up I'd be of some use to a Lowe's or Home Depot as twocubs mentioned. Even if you had to start at low wages and crappy hours, I'd think someone like us who have lots of home improvement experience would work well and could move up as you show your worth. The part that I would struggle with would be the constant changing of schedules and working odd disjointed hours. I'm lucky we're doing OK financially, cause I think I'd lose it if some younger manager kept switching my hours when I had things planned with the family. It really is too bad so many people have to put up with that.
2 boys, ages 19 & 16. SAHD from the beginning
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school, uncertainty, work

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